Thursday, August 21, 2008

What I Learned From Guys

I've spent a lot of my life around guys. I don't play sports, but I've studied guy-ish things, and I work in a field with mostly guys.

Here are some things I've learned from guys:

1. Pretend to have more confidence than you actually have.

Guys just act like they know what's what, even when they don't. They don't try to be honest about their insecurities, hoping someone will reassure them. This is wise. No one knows who is pretending. And when things are tense, almost everyone prefers to deal with someone keeping up a good front rather than someone in confessional tension mode.

2. Just get on with it.

When things go wrong, it's not always necessary to figure out what happened, or understand what it all means. Often feeling OK about stuff just comes naturally if you move on. Just get on with it: go to bed, wake up, start over, forget about it.

3. It doesn't matter if the bathroom is dirty.

Unless it's really filthy, no one will notice or care. If it's a choice between cleaning the bathroom and having a cocktail, guys say, have a cocktail.

4. Dumb things like pinball, video games, comic books, and adventure movies are fun.

I kind of had to develop a taste for these mindless pleasures, but now I see their true, deep, and enduring value.

5. Bring home the bacon.

Nothing gives you independence and power like a good salary. Sure, money doesn't buy happiness. But stop earning money and pretty soon you're cooking someone's meals and cleaning their kitchen floor, while they're zoning out with Baywatch. Having your own money doesn't prevent such a state of affairs, but not having your own money gives you no way out of them.

I'm sure there are other things but I can't think of them now. This is not to say, of course, that there aren't things guys should learn from me. But that's a post for another day.

Thanks guys!


jackpot said...

"4. Dumb things like pinball, video games, comic books, and adventure movies are fun."

If you had taken out video games and put in riding bikes I could have accused you of basing your experience with #4 exclusively on your experience with me. Also acceptable would have been:

drinking before noon
talking about people
crap fiction

Noko Marie said...

Hi Jackpot. Righto. Except having grown up a girl among girls, "talking about people" is something I learned as a wee lass from other wee lasses. Gossip? A real girly natural.

jackpot said...

I hear you on the lady of lady front, perhaps. but lots of guys are as chatty as the chattiest of chatty cathys. "whoa, you see that guy's hair/tattoo/girlfriend?? He's a real stud/asshole/pantywaist!"

/stops talking about self