Valuable Stuff

I recently acquired, by present, a valuable and beautiful electronic item. It has been a while since I had that feeling, of something that I was really and truly terrified of losing or harming. My previous ipod is five years old and my computer is two years old, and both of them have been all over the place with me without taking serious harm, so that sense of awed anxiety, that "ohmigod I can't believe this is mine" feeling has worn off.

Which is not to say that it would not be extraordinarily terrible if something happened to either of them, because it would. Similarly, there are lots of things I could lose where it would suck, a lot. Like my passport or my wallet or one of a million things of poignant sentimental value.

It's just that over time you reconcile yourself to damage and decay in stuff you own. One of my favorite possessions is this orange leather chair that's getting more and more battered because I sit in it and sprawl in it all the goddamn time. But one of the reasons I was excited to buy it on mark down was that it already had a small, but visible, pen mark on it. I felt like I could own it and enjoy it without feeling like a jerk if it picked up some stains along the way.

But then there are things that remind me of toys I had as a kid, things that I was petrified of screwing up, things that I wanted to keep all pristine. Forever. Unfortunately, I was never one of those collector-type kids. Stuff came out of the box, hairstyles were rearranged, and that was that.